The Warlocks of Washington

In this corner, the talking head from Chicago, who learned his political licks in the most corrupt city, in America. This head looks amazingly like a peanut when sporting its thinned lipped smile. His repertoire includes bat whiskers, mummified toenails and adder’s tongue.

In the other corner, the talking head from Massachusetts, who learned his political licks in the most liberal state, in America.  His head takes on the appearance of a deformed gourd when he speaks. His repertoire includes black cat fat, eye of Newt and henbane.

I defy you to see any difference between them. During the next fifty years, which is how long the campaign will seem to last, us Americans will be bored, mad and utterly confused. We will know less than we do now by the time we vote. Our confidence in our political system will be stretched, as it is every four years. Dropping the same pile of poop repeatedly does not make it true. Forget elephants and donkeys, the truth, the poop smells and looks the same no matter which bull drops it.

Barrack will spin around and bring his wand to the task of destroying the opposing warlock. Poof, a little witches bane about Bain. Ok so Mitt had more money than Solomon. Once you pass 10 million, what does it matter? Doesn’t money kind of become a non issue? Who honestly cares? You can find dirt on all of us, if there is no dirt on you; you aren’t imaginative enough to get into trouble.

Mitt spins, or maybe just his head spins. Pea soup does not spew from his mouth; remember he can afford lobster bisque. Poof, a little eye of Newt mixed with a bad economic record blasts Barack. Good lord, who said Newt, is no longer influencing politics? Wait, there has been a good economic period, how did I miss that? The debt grows, our rights shrink and our frustration mounts, but it will always be the fault of the sitting president.

The political party which runs the country continues to divide and conquer. Half of you are giving each other high fives, thinking I’m talking about Republicans. The other half is snickering, and sure I’m talking about the Democrats. I’m talking about the Depublicans or Remocrats. Thanks to Nic from Pinellas Beach, Florida for those words.

As you blame one mudslinging warlock over the other for the coming months, remember the Democrats brought us the welfare state, but the Republicans brought us the IRS long before welfare needed funding. The majority of Americans undoubtedly voted for both.

The Republicans continue to decry all social systems while claiming to be protecting social security. It’s all about votes. Both parties continue to scream, throw tantrums and drop plops of poop about decreasing the size of government. Wake up people, the size of our government will shrink when they pass a decrease in pay, or when pigs fly. American politicians could supply the fertilizer needs of the entire world for the next few months.

As the wands frantically spit and spew and spells are cast, there are real issues being ignored. Why? Because doing anything could be detrimental to campaigning. Here is one of my personal pet peeves. Why do average Americans continue to call the proposed health care systems, socialized medicine? If it were socialized medicine, it would be free. Hello, this is just another example of political parties placing catch phrases and ideas in the heads of the masses. It amounts to, one for you, one for me. Pee Wee Herman should be a politician. “I know you are, but what am I?”

Obamacare and Romneycare are pretty much the same proposal. How can they talk about them? The proposals are hundreds of pages and prepared by dozens of minions. It would take a dozen high powered lawyers’ months to sort it out. It’s best to leave it alone.

I’m not arguing for or against socialized medicine or forced insurance. Although the whole socialized medicine thing, is a smoke screen designed to keep us from noticing we are being driven into the corral of the insurance industry. As all average Americans, I have made the decision many times in my life to survive without health insurance. It’s not hard to decide between five hundred bucks a month and the food it takes to feed your kids. It’s calculated gambling.

Politicians have no clue what this means. Most of them grew up with a silver syringe in their backside and then stepped from college into a place where deciding between health care, dental care and food will never be a necessity.

And these are the people who will decide our fate, marvelous. I don’t know the answer, we need to keep voting, but we as Americans must figure out a way to control the choices we have. We simply keep electing the same persons.